two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
