We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
