Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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