wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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