did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize