I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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