He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I smell stomach acid.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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