Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
