where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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