If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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