If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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