I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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