So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize