this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
