u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He? As in you personified your dick?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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