Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
