Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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