M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
