just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
