Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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