1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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