my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
