I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
