So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
