I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
