I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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