No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
