Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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