Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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