did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
