guys are not supposed to queef...right?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
