If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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