nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We left the knife in your bed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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