i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
