there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
