I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
