Betty ford says i'm here all night
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
