look no pants
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
