Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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