The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
