I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We talked him into tasing himself.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize