Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
