have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
