I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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