I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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