did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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