We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
