You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
