Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
