Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
