...so i touched it.
I can text with my tongue
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
