It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
