Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
