k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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