Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
