I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
