I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
